When we go to the hospital, we expect that we are going to be treated by professionals. In fact, from the time we begin talking to someone on the phone when there is an emergency, we start to put our lives in the hands of those individuals. In some situations, we put our very lives in their hands. It typically begins with a call to 911 and a visit to our location from a first responder. Before we know it, we are at a medical facility and surrounded by professionals.
It doesn’t matter if you are talking about the doctors, nurses or any other member of the medical staff, they are college educated and are working in a well respected profession. That doesn’t mean, however, that things are always going to go as planned. In fact, there are going to be times when something most unexpected happens. Of course, we always hope that those situations go as smoothly as possible but in the end, it really leaves us with quite an experience in most cases. Some of those experiences are stressful, but as they say, every cloud has a silver lining. This post helps you to see that silver lining under the most difficult circumstances.
Most of us have a story to tell about a strange occurrence at the hospital or the doctors office. Much of the funniest things that take place actually take place behind the scenes. That is the case with these 30 documented statements that came from official medial records. When you read what these doctors had to say, you might just start to question their qualifications. At the very least, it will give you a good laugh.
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
3. Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
14. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
15. She is numb from her toes down.
16. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
17. The skin was moist and dry.
18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
20. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
24. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
27. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
28. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
29. Patient was seen in consultation by DR. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
30. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.